You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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