Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
