I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Two words: nipple clamps
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