you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
