so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
