I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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