I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Terrible idea I love it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
