Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
