I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
