I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
