Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
