im drinking this country out of the recession.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
