imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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