she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
