I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i barfeds in our rink
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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