it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
