He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
