If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
