Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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