If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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