I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
