I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
