Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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