I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
