i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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