Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
