Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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