We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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