Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
