ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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