I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
3 2 1 whiskey
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
