Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
