you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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