I swear god or herbie drove my car home
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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