giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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