Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
