YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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