So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
