i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
