In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
