So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Welp...herpes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
