I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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