Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
