Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
