Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
