Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
