You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
