You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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