I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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