I smell stomach acid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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