i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
