is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
