Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
