hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just gift wrapped bread.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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